because

• i want my body to back to normal (will it ever be normal again? will it ever go back?)
• i want my baby in my arms and on my chest and in her daddy’s arms and on his chest and in our bed. instead of living RIGHT ON TOP OF MY CERVIX which she kicks on the regs. 
• i would punch a cop to have a beer right now, you guys. i had a sip of PBR last weekend (i know WORST MOTHER EVER) and it tasted like jesus and rainbows and all good things instead of like dirty dishwater.
• i want to know that my bajingo is okay post-labor.
• i want to already be breastfeeding so i know i can do it.
• i want people to stop telling me their hideous birth stories and telling me i’ll change my mind about epidurals, cloth diapers, breastfeeding, etc. NO I WON’T AND FUCK YOU. 
• it would be nice to have more emotional regulation than i did as a teenager.
• seriously, a beer.